Declared bucket capacity
Contents appear to have exceeded posted limits before photography began.
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Public notice / Case BB-001
Big Bucket of Chowder
The bucket exists. The chowder exists. Explanations have been suspended pending review.
Review the evidence
Internal incident report / 001
The domain was available. This is what happened next.
Ongoing
Nobody volunteered.
Withheld
By whom remains unclear.
Items recovered at the scene
Chain of custody was lost immediately.
Traffic cone
Arrived after the incident. Has taken credit for containment.
Itemized receipt
Proof that money changed hands and judgment did not.
Chair, “Dale”
Declined comment. Retained counsel.
Recorded statement / unverified
The bucket would like to clarify.
“No.”
Expense report / denied
Accounting saw everything.
Every bad decision leaves paperwork. This one also left a stain.
Incident Charges
Location redacted
Case BB-001
Bucket, industrial$14.00
Chowder, unsupervised$29.00
Emergency ladle$8.00
Cleanup estimatePending
Legal consultationDeclined
TotalIrreversible
Payment received. Judgment pending.
End of file / no further action
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